Can we have it all?

The idea of balance in life is a concern I hear a lot.  How can I exercise and take care of my kids?  How can I get adequate work done, make sure my family is happy, and maintain how I look?

And to be honest, I don’t think we want balance.  I think we want an easy understanding of what is most important before it stresses us out.  Why?

Because balance suggests a lot of things that just aren’t real.

For example…work/life balance would suggest you have equal time to devote to everything important to you.  It suggests you will feel comfortable all of the time in knowing that you are doing a good job in all spots in your life.  It suggests you don’t lose time when you give time to something else. 

Unfortunately, all of this is not really in your control. 

Stakeholders in your life need and want different things at different times.

Time for projects isn’t static.

Nothing is always going right or always going wrong. 

Something will need more attention than something else all of the time.

Balance is dynamic and therefore, not really balance.

What we want is clear understanding of what we need to do to make things feel right.

And this stress, this ambiguity wreaks havoc on our hormonal responses.

To address responses, you have to start with food, sleep, and high intensity movement. 

Are these stress releases?  Not really.  They address your imbalances. 

They allow for the mind to stay clear.  They allow you to not get fully stuck in your racing mind.  They remind you that self care gets you immediate and predictable results.  No ambiguity there.

If you are struggling “to make it all work,” know you can’t.  Everything IS WORKING.  That’s why it is moving.  You are trying to make it stop and that just isn’t going to happen.

If you want some clarity, you must start with you.  Not with other people or wishing for time to expand.

Self care is the only predictable way to handle ambiguity.