I was listening to Rachel Hollis’ book, Girl, Wash Your Face. Side--This book is great for people in romantic relationships. It is a great way to communicate and it is entertaining. Highly recommend!
At the beginning of the book she discusses the promises we break with ourselves comparing it to trusting someone in your life who always breaks plans with you or seems to always over promise and underdeliver. It begins to have a diminishing effect. You can’t trust. You can’t believe. You can’t assume. When this happens with yourself, what can you do?
Hollis likes to call our moments of tension as opportunities to quit.
She claims that when we decide to use our trained (comfortable) self to answer actions to hardships, we essentially are quitting.
That every excuse we make for ourselves is permission to quit.
She then movingly yells at the readers she would not give people permission to quite specifically when it comes to the challenges of self-care, dreams, and the road ahead towards change.
I am yelling too.
A lot of people think that I am missing mindfulness--especially working with young people and families. That I am too hard. Have too many expectations. All unrealistic. That I don’t listen to the world around us telling us to stop pushing.
But there are two types of energies when it comes to our dreams--ways to fuel and ways to progress.
Our fuel--our sense of self and fullness--comes in many different ways, most of which none of us care to engage with. It’s our attention to our health. Our ability to ask for help. Identifying the isolating effect of perfection. Somehow self care has been disguised as inaction for fear of “busyness” and I call bologna. Sense of self is recognizing your health and well being...not just stopping. It is foundational and it commands community. Identification of value--individually and collectively.
On the flip--progress towards goals demands a maturity that embraces a little chaos. A lot of trust in imperfection. A lot of discomfort. A lot of vulnerability.
IF we begin making excuses in ourselves, giving ourselves permission to not embrace the collective storytelling of progress, we will stagnate and become overwhelmed by our own self judgement.
YES. Absolutely a problem.
But finding enough love in yourself, those around you, and an attention to uncertainty that scares you a little...you are on the path of strength.
Stop giving yourself excuses and start giving yourself a community, a cup full of love, and the chip on your shoulder to try uncertainty.